However, today's entry will not be entirely devoted to pouring over a fictional reality which, despite perking up my Tuesday afternoons big-time (especially as literally 90% of TV programmes at the moment are either dedicated to the Euros or tomorrow's EU referendum), has not had any significant impact on my life of late. In fact, I'd rather take the time to discuss a matter with which I'm sure many others - especially of my age group - will be familiar: stress.
Wrapped up in layers of self-hatred, coated with lashings of fear and baked in piles of panic, stress can present itself in a variety of situations in, as you have probably already guessed, numerous ways. Apparently, a little dose of stress is supposed to be harmless - and could indeed be perceived as quite good, if you are one of the fortunate types who can channel it into adrenaline and an unquenchable thirst to succeed. In an ideal world, stress would never dare to present itself as a problem because it would merely motivate us during the occasions when it would help us, such as exam season. Believe me, if I was a lucky resident in an oh-so-perfect utopian society, stress would definitely guarantee me a collection of A*s - thus eliminating any fears that I have over my impending GCSE results.
Unfortunately, one has to face reality at one point or another - regardless of how devastating it is to accept that none of Versace's dresses will ever be reduced to £10 in a sale at TK Maxx, which is obviously the last sort of news that any fashionista would like to hear! Bearing this fact in mind, stress is definitely capable of having a detrimental effect on a person - and, instead of motivating one to push themselves further in order to achieve their aspirations, it can serve as a barrier to making their dreams into a living reality.
To my sheer relief, stress never threatened me from surviving my recent GCSE exams; in fact, I began to adopt the view that, if I wasn't feeling a bit stressed, perhaps I was being too overconfident, which could have been a sign of bad luck. Obviously, some people don't believe in superstition and generally I would dismiss it because, when it comes to exams, only yourself can determine your future - hence why exams are based on your knowledge, not your so-called 'ability' to predict grade boundaries or questions that could appear in the paper! However, I do reserve the belief that cockiness can have a wicked way of biting one in an unpleasant part of the body (not literally!) because I would rather underestimate myself then put my entire heart and soul into the exam, which motivates me to carry on working when, if I simply assumed that I would only need to write my name down on the paper to achieve an A*, I probably would have given up long ago. Thus, if I allow some stress to seep into my bloodstream, I'm proving to myself that I care about my future and ultimately myself, which reiterates my determination to lead the best life that I can possibly lead.
Nevertheless, I have a tendency to bury any anxious emotions and feelings I may have under imaginary piles of clothes which, as my anxieties increase, simply grows: indeed, my stress levels must have been vast enough to fill an entire warehouse during the one week in which I sat seven exams! And why is that, you ask? Just as it is capable of helping you, stress shares an equal ability to mark a spiral into self-destruction - which I thought would only arise if I allowed it to be felt. Undoubtedly, there were so many occasions when I felt like crawling into my bed and never rising from the covers during weeks in which I had exams; as thrilled as I was to finally get the 'beasts' out of the way and progress to the next part of my life, I felt so powerful and powerless at the same time as I knew that my every waking second determined whether I will be able to enter my chosen career path.
As a teenager, gaining these responsibilities during what feels like such a short space of time is petrifying - at this age, who truly wants to be held accountable for possibly slamming shut a door that could have a major impact on your opportunities and life chances? And it didn't really help that, during this period, my head was swimming with statistics over life chances (which are worsened by failing or doing badly in GCSEs) for my Sociology exams...
Despite my rather well-executed efforts to ignore my feelings - hence why anyone who communicated with me during the exam period might have recognised certain similarities between emotionless robots and myself (pretty much the only way I could resist the urge to scream with heartfelt fear during my Maths exam!) - my body, on the other hand, had other ideas. For starters, the idea of indulging in a bit of chocolate - which never fails to boost my mood thanks to the feel-good endorphins that it releases (exactly why eating something sweet before an exam is a good idea) - no longer seemed appealing to me as I began to feel uncomfortably uneasy ahead of sitting an exam. Indeed, if an exam was scheduled to be held in the afternoon, you can imagine - or probably have experienced - the somewhat hunger-induced panics over surviving the exam whilst force-feeding a sandwich down your throat as a means of preventing a fainting fit during the exam itself. Not precisely my idea of fun (which would be a thousand miles away from anything exam-related!), yet that simply demonstrates how demonic stress is: it can limit you in ways that you had previously never considered were possible.
Due to still being around - and officially free of exams (until my AS-levels next year, yet I'd rather paint that thought out of my mind for the next few months!) - I guess that I managed to quench my stressful woes because, as many have endured, it can either crush you or provide a platform for making you into a stronger person. My advice? Let it out when you need to - but keep a lid on it. Like Pandora's box, you don't want to open your compressed can of stress too much because, if you do, it could provide too much of a distraction from what truly matters above any of your fears: surviving your exams, or anything else that is the primary source of your worries. The night before my Chemistry exam last week, I craved nothing more than to sob over how I would never comprehend the formula for producing crystals. And I eventually did sob, except that I refused to give myself an eternity to do so; in fact, letting your emotions run wild can make you feel even more stressed as you may be worrying over unimportant matters. As if you really need to be thinking of anything else during that time!
Also, another way of beating stress is to maintain an ordinary and regular routine as best as you can. Although the time I spent for revision obviously increased like mad during the exam period, I still went to bed at my usual time, ate dinner with my family as always and logged onto Facebook for a little while every day after school. Maintaining a sense of normality was vital for preserving my sanity during exams because sitting 19 exams (if I remember the figure correctly) within the space of several weeks was anything but normal! Over time, I've read numerous articles about people abandoning Facebook and staying up until the early hours revising for exams, which I personally don't think benefits you; when faced with stress, you want to indulge in comforts that calm you, which I suppose is your mental armour for battling against anxiety woes. I truly dread to think what I would have been like if I swapped my relatively early bedtimes for extremely late ones the night before I had as many as two exams the following day - no way would I have been living in my house, let alone still eating meals with my family!
Lastly, remember that your stress exists for a reason; no such feelings appear out of nowhere because your mind randomly wants to feel pressurised and uncomfortable. And, because of that, constantly think of that reason - your stress is present because you want to do well and make yourself proud, for which no one can fault you! While the source of your stress is present, you feel that it will never go away, but believe me, it does... and you'll probably find yourself wondering why you never relaxed more afterwards!
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